itch + scab
I wanted my life to be pretty;
I wanted perfection.
All my thoughts are so jumbled that
I can't just focus on
one at a time anymore...
... I want someone to tell me what to do, but
I'm so tired of taking orders...
... I want to be able to tell myself what to do, but
I never listen.
I see the world
carry on around me,
+ everything is moving
so fast...
... At least in comparison
to my stand-still state...
... Even my mind is racing a million miles per hour, but yet,
my body resists motion.
But moments like this:
the realization,
the double take, the not having to be worried...
... Instead she is free; she is truly + utterly happy.
It's the purest visualization of the
weight being lifted off her shoulders...
... It's both so beautiful + so heartbreaking to have to witness.
And I don't think I really cared how it happened or what it took.
